Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Friends and Ex-Friends and Those in Between

I don't understand..... I get dumped, I lose a friend: now both are wanting reconnections...
Okay. The one guy is from 3 years ago, after 5 months of dating. That's no longer a problem because I moved on, I have DJ. So why does he want to call me this weekend??

My lost friend? He decides to tell me that he "loves" me while I'm in love with Don Juan, and it just throws our whole relationship into a downward spiral. And he's saying that he wants to be friends again.

Why is this happening? It makes me uncomfortable... And I'm uncomfortable because I don't know the motive behind my ex, and I have already had painful arguments with my boyfriend because of my ex-friend....

I don't want anymore problems... Not with my boyfriend, not with my friendships, not with myself. I learned about what it means to compromise and sacrifice for love...

After I did to DJ what I did, breaking his heart so fully, I have had to realize the hard way what it means to be truly committed to one person. That's not to say I can't have male friends. But I never realized what it said to outsiders when I hung out with guys one on one, no other friends around... It even said stuff to the guy I would hang out with one on one...

So I'm working on being more aware of my actions when it comes to other guys. But I don't know how to avoid rudeness half the time... I'm so scared I'm going to hurt DJ again... But I've never been known to be an intentionally rude person.... (In general, at least... >.>)

I really don't know... I wish I did...

For a less confusing thing, I had LOTS of fun painting Ms. Sindy's kitchen with my mum. It was awesome to be covered in paint and have paint all over my clothes. I can't wait til I own my own house. I'm going to have so much fun with colors in my house. ;D

For the record, though, do NOT paint with RED unless you intend to paint with 4 or 5 coats!! (If you have a paint/primer 2-in-1 paint, then you might be able to get away with 2 or 3 coats...) It was a hassle, but I still had lots of fun! XD

And I have an entire master bedroom planned out that's supposed to have a deep burgundy red... We'll see if I end up doing that after knowing what I know now. XP

Plus! I am EXCELLENT at taping for paint jobs! I know that sounds braggy, and it is. But I am so freaking stoked that I have found a talent! hahahaha! I know, I know... Unless I intend to become a professional painter, it doesn't do me much good... But I wonder if I could get a job taping walls and edges and ceilings and whatnot for painters. That would be AWESOME, especially if it can get me some pocket change. :)

Well, that's all for now, I guess.

<--This is a collage of some tattoo ideas that I doodled when in church. :)


1 comment:

r e n e e said...

your designs are so sick.
you're amazing!